Fortunately, after five years of diversity training across the country and helping thousands of mental health professionals bridge relationship differences and strengthen interpersonal relationships, I`ve learned that many of us struggle to deal with the often sensitive issue of politics during our sessions. I also discovered that there are techniques we can use to help couples whose political disagreements have led to breakups to reaffirm their common values and ties. Whether you`ve tried to talk to your partner about your political feelings or avoided it for fear of “difficult” conversations that disrupt the flow of your relationship, it`s important for the longevity of your partnership to be able to have open discussions with each other. You shouldn`t let this discomfort stop you from defending your opinion – but knowing how to maintain an atmosphere of support can certainly make the process a little more bearable. Avoid broad outlines when discussing policy. Instead, focus on individual topics. Do not slander or attack your partner`s political party. This is the easiest way to get your partner to close. Instead, discuss problems as autonomous topics and appeal to your partner`s emotions. While your goal shouldn`t be to change your partner`s mind, you`re more likely to get them to understand your position if you portray the problem in a positive light. Don`t discuss all the negative results if you don`t agree with your side. Instead, consider the positive results if you lean towards a topic in a certain way. “This underscores the importance of a political perspective for a partner,” Moye said.
For example, “As a black woman, I feel like legislators should continue to pass laws to make it illegal to discriminate against hairstyles and textures.” In an interracial relationship, the partner who enjoys the most privileges wants to be curious about what this attitude means for their partner. While the opposing political view views consider it “just hair,” the one who lives the experience does not feel visible unless they adjust their hair to a Eurocentric beauty standard. One way to deal with the stress of loving a partner who doesn`t vote along the same party lines as you is to make your home a neutral zone. That`s not to say you should avoid discussing politics altogether. However, your home should feel like a nice and peaceful space for both of you. Calling your home a “no-policy” area can help you create a welcoming and comfortable home, rather than a breeding ground for ruined relationships. If none of you can avoid discussing political issues, you can create a more metaphorical space without politics, like an hour of the day. You may want to avoid political discussions at the table or just before bedtime. This strategy is the most successful for a couple for whom politics is not a big part of the lives of both.
Nicole and Michael`s marriage had a solid foundation and they were willing to do the hard work to improve their communication. Couples who don`t have this foundation may find it harder to view their political differences as anything but incompatible. In these cases, we can try to help them repair their relationships by helping them see that these fears, not their disrespect, are motivating their anger. Another way to formulate this question is: I would like to know what you think of this topic/person. This puts a real curiosity in the other person`s opinion and maybe the why. “Ask abstractly, `How does [the politician] do this and that?` This does not make the recipient of the question responsible for the candidate`s opinions,” Brookhiser explains. “You can have a political conversation with someone you disagree with, and you can learn a lot from it.” Maryanne Comaroto: Ask questions instead of making assumptions. Sometimes we can fly away if we think we know what our partner is thinking or a position they will take. Maybe you`ll be curious and see if you can learn more about their point of view.
That`s kind of what mature relationships are: honoring our differences and growing in them. But the reverse is also true: Trump supporters want nothing to do with those who vote for Biden. “I just spoke to a gentleman today who has conservative political beliefs, and he told me he didn`t want to date a crazy liberal,” Artis said. .
